Hostle Intent

lansley04.jpg“So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself…”

—Franklin D. Roosevelt: First Inaugural Address: Saturday, March 4, 1933

Now that the elections and referendum are over, and the results have knocked the egg out of Clegg, the talk has turned, as it will, to what the Lib-Dems must do to lay themselves sunny-side up again. The general thrust is that they need to get tough, rattle a few sabres, perhaps even fire a few arrows, and so assert their identity in the face of their coallusion partners, the Tories. A top candidate for the sabre rattling treatment is of course the NHS reforms.

Humph Flumphs Again

lost for words.jpgThe Today programme’s resident grumpy old bull, John Humphrys, took a charge at Prime Minister David Cameron this morning, and ended up with his horns stuck in wood, and his tail between his legs. Cameron, in excellent patroniser-in-chief form, ordered Humph back to school. Humph, unable to extract his horns from the wood, acceded. “I will go back to school,” he said, adding petulantly as only Humph could, “and I will choose my teacher”.

Dr No has for some time been bemused by the media coverage of the Alternative Vote (AV) referendum, and, less bemusingly, by the public’s apparent lack of grasp of what is, all said and done, not a difficult a concept to grasp. Certainly, the jargon does nothing to help: ‘First Past the Post’ is nothing of the sort – there is no post, just a brutish my-pile-of-votes-is-bigger-than-yours battle, while the ‘Alternative Vote’ is a first past the post race – the post being 50% of cast votes; but the procedure, serial elimination of the candidate with the least votes, and allocation of those voters’ successive choices until one candidate passes the 50% post, is comprehensible. Or at least should be comprehensible – unless, that is, one is, as Cameron described Humph this morning, the BBC’s ‘lead broadcaster’, a remark which on paper gains the added thrill of plumbic insult.

If It Walks Like a Duck…

its_a_duck_2.jpgDr No has no doubt that the most devastating blow to be wrought by the Tories on the National Health Service in their Health and Social Care Bill is the abolition of the Secretary of State’s duty to provide a comprehensive health service. At a stroke, it removes ministerial responsibility and accountability, and so renders the NHS as an army without a chief, a supertanker with no one on the bridge, a body without a head. And when mayhem arrives, as it surely must, when the troops run wild, or the tanker strays off course, there will be no one in charge, no one on whose door we can knock, and demand redress. So long as the Secretary of State has ‘acted with a view’, an invidious wording blessed with the legal slipperiness of a bar of soap, he can profess to have done his duty, and declare, even as the tanker hits the rocks: ‘not my problem’.

Hack Attack

hack_attack.jpgAnna ‘Opposing Views’ Raccoon – who is to blogging as shit is to the fan – has picked up on the General Medical Council’s latest Big Idea. Doctors who admit medical wrongdoing and accept sanctions, and those convicted of serious crimes – helpfully enumerated by the GMC to include murder, rape and child molesting – will no longer have to face Fitness to Practice hearings. Instead, they will be dealt with clandestinely by the GMC, and a note of their wrongdoing and sanction posted discreetly on the GMC’s website. The idea is both to curb the exponential rise in FTP hearings (and save a bob or two in the process), and to reduce unnecessary ‘stress and anxiety’ for doctors and witnesses caught up in the GMC mill.

Racca-Anna is outraged, claiming that the proposals will muzzle the main stream media, and prevent punters from hearing salacious gossip about gung-ho doctors who – to quote from the post - ‘despatch a patient prematurely whilst singing Rule Britannia and smoking a hookah pipe, or stitch the patient’s left arm onto someone else’s right leg, or are simply stark raving bonkers’ only to be allowed, ‘through some technicality’, to continue to practise.

The Patient on the Clapham Omnibus

omnibus.jpgThe best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

–Sir Winston Churchill

The hills may be alive with the sound of music, but the UK medical blogosphere is alive with the sound of rebellion. Virtually all British medical bloggers – and much superb research and writing has been and is being done - are singing off the same hymn sheet: Broken Arrow’s NHS reforms will be at best disastrous, at worst will kill off the NHS.

The Royal College of Nursing has come out staunchly against the reforms; while the British Medical Association has been, to its shame, woefully timid, but is nonetheless critical of the proposals. And of course we have the wonderful Professor Allyson Pollock, the thinking doctor’s crumpet, writing sterling material in the medical journals and elsewhere.

The Listening Bank

listening_bank.jpgBroken Arrow - so-called because he doesn’t work, and can’t be fired – stood up red-faced in the Commons on Monday. A nervous tie-fingering moment later, he launched into a resentful defensive downcast drone about his beloved Titanic Bill. It was already more than four fifths of the way across the Atlantic, he declared – it had concluded its committee stage, and eighty-seven percent of GPs covering forty-five million patients had already signed up to join the party. Labour jeered and heckled, and Broken Arrow’s face got redder. But a spectre of icebergs had loomed, and through gritted teeth, he admitted the most unTitanic of conduct: a slow down. The government, he said, would take advantage of a ‘natural break’ in the passage of the Bill to ‘pause, to listen, and to engage’. Labour, of course weren’t having any of it. Broken Arrow hadn’t listened before, so why should he start listening now?

The Secret Nail in the NHS Coffin

tory_nhs_plan.jpgSometimes a picture is worth a thousand words, and the photograph on the left – taken covertly last weekend at a top secret boot camp for Tory operatives soon to be charged with ‘fixing’ the NHS – tells us only too clearly what the Tories have in mind for our health service. But illuminating as such images are, to gain a fuller picture we have also to look at the legal framework on which such proposed activities hang, and the legal framework on which the National Health Service hangs is the National Health Service Act 1946, and its derivatives, temporal and spiritual, including the National Health Service Acts 1977 and 2006, and most recently the proposed Health and Social Care Bill, currently at committee stage before Parliament.

The first notable change is the name: gone are the references to ‘National’ and ‘Service’; instead we now have ‘Health’, conveniently bundled with that great Tory fiscal irritation, ‘Social Care’. At a stroke, the National Health Service has lost its special status, and been teamed up with just another drain on the public purse.

Laughing at Democracy

charles_1st.jpgAfter a quiet few days, there have been some yelps squeaks and barks from UK medical bloggers about the British Medical Association’s SRM (Sham Representative Meeting) called earlier this week to decide the Association’s position on the government’s proposed NHS reforms. Dr Grumble meanwhile has adopted an “I’ve been telling you for years, will you believe me now” tone under a reckless headline on the ways of parliament. Or perhaps it isn’t so reckless after all – for who knows how many tens of thousands will die unnecessarily if the Tory health reforms become reality.

The trouble with all these yelps squeaks and barks (and Dr No has been at it too) is that they are faux-outrage at what is in fact inevitable. It is the inevitable result of what many of us call democracy, but which is in fact nothing of the sort, being instead something which Dr No called Sham Dem eighteen months ago; and the thing about Sham Dem is that it is anything but democracy, by any accepted definition of the term. It is, to give it a more descriptive but less snappy name, serial, or perhaps more accurately, interval, oligarchy. If that sounds a bit technical, Dr No apologises, but hopes to make all plain.

Mildew and Mayhem, Churchill and Chamberlain

chamberlain.jpgLord Mildew of That Ilk, Chief Pongo at the British Medical Association, is worried about his eggs. Speaking at the Association’s Special Representative Meeting yesterday, the first such meeting in nearly twenty years, he implored his delegates not to put all their ‘negotiating eggs in one basket’. To Dr No, the pleas of The Lord of the Ilks sounded more in line with a foolish game-keeper laying out all his eggs individually, the better that the foxes might easily pick them off later, one by one, than a fighting chief calling his clan to arms.

The reason for the exceptional SRM was that the BMA wanted to vote on a number of motions to do with the government’s proposed changes to the NHS. As is BMA way, the agenda was pre-loaded with motions deploring the decline in the standard of NHS biscuits, but in amongst the chaff there was no mistaking the wheat. The BMA mill was spinning for none other than the government’s chief architect of, and ambassador for, its ruinous Health and Social Care Bill, Secretary of State Andrew ‘Ribbentrop’ Lansley. The crux of the meeting, to be decided at the final vote, was whether to oppose this architect of doom by gentle jaw-jaw, or by the husk shattering steam hammer of war.

Today Interviews Bennett

bennett_1.jpgOnce again, the BBC proves how far ahead it is of the competition…not to mention Al Jazeera…

 

Scene: The Radio Four Today programme studio, on air. HUMPH sits at a desk, chewing a carrot. JIMBO sits on a bean-bag, reading an upside down copy of the King James bible. He is muttering to himself.

JIMBO: You say Naughty, I say Kno’ch’oty. What’s in a name? Quite a lot, I suppose, if you are that b*rstard H*nt. F*cking ar…

PRODUCER (within): Shut it, Jimbo.

HUMPH (on air): Earlier today, Jimbo talked to Dr David Bennett, the new Chair of Monitor, the NHS Regulator.