Once in Royal London’s City
Stood a queer new government
Tory toffs had jump’d into bed
With Lib Dems of Con intent
David was their Premier
Niklaus Clegg their poodle dear.
They came to us from the big banks
Where shiny dollar is king
Their deep pockets soon they would line
And their mates make a killing
While the poor and sick and lowly
End up in a mess most unholy.
Too soon austerity took hold
All the money run away
Savage cuts all across the board
Now the order of the day
But the NHS top’d the pile
Ring fenced funds for rank and file!
As our patients are our mirror
So their needs are our concern
But toffs care not one little bit
Money’s all they can discern
Blind they remain to our sadness
As they rejoice in their richness.
And our eyes at last shall see them
Robber barons as they are
For those toffs once so meek and mild
Praise Old Hacksaw as their star
Bless’d are the meek, the toffs do sing,
For they shall make our good tills ring!
Not on our lowly cash-strapp’d wards
Where the HCAs cower
Will our patient, in mortal fear
Stand a chance of sweet succour
Not a nurse to ease the pains
Just those empty Con-Dem refrains…
“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.”
— Charles Dickens (David Copperfield)
And we are spending £25 for every £20 of income. Blame the last Labour Government for the misery, not those with the harder task of re-establishing the nations finances!
Bah Humbug! or Happy Christmas if you prefer,
Dr Phil
This post started off on the back of Dickens (hence the title). Realising I couldn’t fit A Christmas Carol into a short post (!) – for a while I had Mrs T as one of the ghosts, but that was all wrong – I gave up, and you see what you see.
I agree that the last government is a key villian. But if you inherit misery – then it behoves you to be even more careful not to create further misery. As Dr G has pointed out more than once, many of the coalitions decisons are ideologically driven. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Scrooge came to see the light – money isn’t everything – but will our goverment?
Taking into account the spirit of this post and the content of your previous post, I came up with this:
No Tidings of Comfort And Joy.
Be warned ye somokers, fat people
Routing surgery is not for you;
No IVF, replacement hips or knees –
You wont even join the queue!
Why should the NHS pay for costly cures
Caused by something that you do?
No tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy.
No tidings of comfort and joy.
The moneys spent and we’re hell bent
On saving where we can.
The revenue we get from you
Wont go towards a scan.
Equality in health depends on wealth,
Pots neary empty – sorry man!
No tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy.
No tidings of comfort and joy.
Merry Christmas Dr. No!
Anna :o]
…and spurred on by Anna’s valiant entry into the spoofing stakes, Dr No shudders at his earlier blundered attempt, and now offers the following revised version:
Once in good old London City
Stood a strange new government.
The Lib Dems had scented power
To a deal they did consent.
David was their Premier
Gaffer Clegg their poodle dear.
Our new gallant Con-Dem leaders
Praised a Big Society.
All for one, and one for all
Was their declared policy.
With tough times ahead for all
Bankers too must face the squall.
All too soon the coffers ran dry
Not a farthing to be had.
Al and Gordo had blown it all
On daft projects rash and bad.
Savage cuts across the board
Now must be our chill reward.
Henceforth students must pay their way
Admirals loose many ships.
Courts will close, and prisons decline
Whitehall too will feel the snip.
But health stays at top of pile
Ring fenced funds for rank and file.
Behind closed doors Tories gathered
Bold new plans they did ferment.
Soon their Tory pockets they would line
With health service ‘supplements’.
Bless the meek, the Tories sing,
They’ll make us a good killing!
And our eyes at last shall see them
Robber barons that they are
Those Tories once so meek and mild
Now praise Hacksaw as their star
No more Big Society
Just fake pledges and piety.
Not on overwhelmed cash-strapped wards
Where the lowly staff cower
Will our patient, in mortal fear
Stand a chance of sweet succour
Not a nurse to ease the pain
Just an empty Con-Dem refrain…
And yes there will be carol karaoke at the Christmas Ball…not to mention an updated version of Hark the Herald Angels Sing here…