Electronic braying noises. A Tardis appears. Out step Drs Crippen and Grumble. They stand side by side, surveying the scene. Dr Crippen has aged, and now looks like the first Doctor Who.
Dr Crippen: Grumble! Sorry to drag you away from the fun, old boy.
Dr Grumble: That’s alright sir.
Dr Crippen: War’s not going very well, you know.
Dr Grumble: Oh my God!
Dr Crippen: We are two down. Marshals Field and Meldrum have joined the enemy.
Dr Grumble: Yes.
Dr Crippen: War is a psychological thing, Grumble, rather like a game of football.
Dr Grumble: Yes sir.
Dr Crippen: We have to play up, be counted. We have to take responsibility. It’s a duty thing, Grumble.
Dr Grumble: Mmmm.
Dr Crippen: Grumble, we are asking you to take responsibility.
Dr Grumble: Sir.
Turn to face each other
Dr Crippen: I want you to lay down your anonymity, Grumble.
Dr Grumble: Yes sir.
Dr Crippen: We need a heroic gesture at this stage. It will raise the whole tone of the war. It will show the Secretary of State how to take it on the chin.
Dr Grumble: Sir.
Dr Crippen: Get back to your blog, Grumble…
Dr Grumble: Sir.
Dr Crippen: pop up a post…
Dr Grumble: Yes sir.
Dr Crippen: and expose yourself.
Dr Grumble: Yes.
Dr Crippen: And stay exposed.
Dr Grumble: Right you are sir.
Backgound music – As Time Goes By
Dr Crippen: Goodbye Grumble. God, I wish I could expose myself too.
Two down was right in my books.
They are using ancient Chinese Military tactics that were adopted by the US: in warfare use deception.
The Marshals were always part of them.
And there is money and money corrupts!!!
The Cockroach Catcher
‘War’ means ‘enemy’, is government an enemy?
We are!!! They used the tactics, remember!!!
Dr No talked about war and marshals! He. He. He.
Relinquish anonymity, that would be crazy – far better to confound the enemy with guerilla tactics?
It worked for this man, and it can work for you?
http://wigglywinston.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/commieleon_trotsky.jpg
Reminds me of Kitchener’s exasperated comment about the Boers who wouldn’t stand up and be shot like men;
‘The Boers are not like the Sudanese who stood up to a fair fight.
They are always running away on their little ponies!’
I think Grumble and you should stick to the little ponies..
And while we’re on the subject, where the hell is Dr Crippen? Is he coming back? The NHS needs him..
Any resemblance to any persons living or dead in this post is entirely coincidental…
It is rewrite of this post (incidentally Dr No’s first ever post) which in turn was based on a transcript from the brilliant Aftermyth of War.
All of which goes to show that Dr No just can’t be relied upon to be serious when he should be!
Sam – Sadly at times it does feel like war. So a bit of light relief from time to time doesn’t do any harm. If we want to look into who started it, we might want to use The Germans from Fawlty Towers…
A little mood music?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/scotland/article5949953.ece
Let’s try that again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FX0bTd_gnk
Ah right, you were joking. That’s okay then..
“Sadly at times it does feel like war. So a bit of light relief from time to time doesn’t do any harm. ”
Too true! I like it when you go into your ‘dream mode’cos no one can compete with you here, sooo unfair, eh?!
“If we want to look into who started it, we might want to use The Germans from Fawlty Towers…”
😀
… but well done the ‘Rebels Team’, and ‘them’ too … b-e-a-utiful piece of work this was … and still is 😉
And Grumble … he’s a true rebel you know! Really!