Embarrassed by his previous clumsy attempt at spoofing carols in the political way, Dr No now risks adding extra insult to his earlier incompetence by hamming up another dearly beloved Christmas Carol. Dr No begs forgiveness from all those who love our traditional carols, and promises that in future he will leave such delicate matters to those like Anna (her dementia poems are especially moving) who know how to do verse properly.
Hark the Con-Dems do profess
‘Glory to the NHS!’
Peace on wards and clinics too
Chiefs and medics all a-woo
Joyful, all ye patients rise
Believe the spin and porky pies
With the Con-Dems acquiesce
‘Safety for the NHS’
Hark! The Con-Dems do profess
‘Glory to the NHS!’
Crikey what a bunch of Dicks!
Crikey what a nasty trick!
Right on time behold it comes
Offspring of a grocer’s womb
Veiled in Choice the tyrant see
Hail the dread monstrosity
Pleased as Punch with man to dwell
Markets are our route to Hell
Hark! The Con-Dems do profess
‘Glory to the NHS!’
Hail the infall’ble market force!
Hail the pow’r of changing course!
Choose and Book to all it brings
But no healing can it swing
Tired staff of broken spirit
Crumple under brash f*ckwits
Born to care for weak and sick
Busted now by market tricks
Hark! The Con-Dems do profess
‘Get Lost! to the NHS.’